R-r-rrun-run-run-run runaway.....

With apologies to the late Del Shannon, I had to chime in on this 'runaway bride' story which has usurped the media's attention this past weekend, along with Jeff Gordon taking Talladega with restrictor plates in place. Heck, even wire services like China's Xinhua are picking up on it and 'running' with it. So, the poor lady didn't want to go through with the pressure of a 600 person wedding, decides to make a break for it, goes Greyhound to Texas, and makes a false kidnapping claim. The poor groom, who is now fodder for every comedian in this country who have run out of material since the trial that made the Berkeley Marina a version of Rockingham North ended, has to put on a brave face and continue to profess his love for the most disliked woman in America who's not in politics on national TV interviews. He has to. I'm sure, being from the South, his sense of honor dictates even if your betrothed goes out there and makes you (the Groom) the biggest dupe since Neville Chamberlain, you still have to stand up for her. I think he's already moved on from an emotional standpoint. Ya think he's going to spend time and effort going through with the wedding sometime down the road, as it was planned, with 600 guests and stuff? If he went through with the wedding ceremony, and accepted it as a mere postponement, albeit a very messy one, I think a more appropriate venue for it would be, say, the Georgia Dome, what with all the media vultures who will want to cover it. I don't think anyone who was on their original guest list will want to miss it, that's for sure. I'm sure someone has already put their original invites on EBay. Okay, no one wants to be the spoiler for a big ceremony, but I always thought it was the women who wanted to undertake such large, complicated, and ridiculously expensive and overwrought affairs. Maybe it was the parents, maybe it was the friends, or maybe it was some kind of childhood fantasy of hers, but I bet your next fill-up that the Groom didn't push for one. He just went along to make his bride happy. Guys don't want such large weddings. They just want to get the ceremony over with, bypass the reception, and fly out to Tahiti with their new wife. I mean, imagine the pressure. And yet we don't have movies called "The Runaway Groom." For good reason. Because any abandonment the guy will do usually comes after the first skipped rent payment and a drive out to get cigarettes, or whatever people do these days. I feel for the guy. He is the ultimate portrait of a schmuck who did everything to win the heart of his girl, and was rewarded so.